One day I decided to give the boys some home lessons on American plants and animals that are endangered and on the brink extinction. We learned about the American chestnut tee (and its revival), the Texas Golden Gladecress, the Crimson Hawaiian Damselfyl, The Grey Wolf, American Bison, the West Indian Manatee, we even discovered the debate regarding redheads going extinct. As we tumbled through National Geographic’s, World Wildlife books and Nature Conservancy sites, I was explaining what it meant to be endangered. I explained that there are very few particular kinds of animals or plants left and that we must learn how to protect, respect, sustain and honor them.
As I attempted to continue on with one of my biological and sustainable rambles, the boys were talking amongst themselves and had arrived to some exciting conclusion and simultaneously interrupted with a loud, “MAMMA, guess what??!!!” My oldest lead the way, he said, “mamma there is only ONE ME left…. in the ENTIER universe. And there is only one brother, and only one you.” He continued, “there are bazillions of humans, but each one of us is different and special, each one of us is kind of extinct because there isn’t another like us…..anywhere….ever.” My youngest then chimes in, “Mamma, I know I am special but do you think everybody knows how special they really are? Mamma, I am going to love everybody even more, and I am definitely going to love myself more…. for super sure.”
You see how these tenderly wise and radiant beings are our teachers? They are so much closer and connected to their True Nature. They see and embrace their inherent value, not as defined by peer group, job or social status, not as defined by what the world expects them to be, but rather they see their value as a direct extension from divine creation. In their innocence and purity they genuinely believe that Self Love comes with territory of being alive.
As adults, on a spiritual path, this is often what we are trying to remember and reconnect to. It is a remembrance because Self-love is a part of our divine composition, it is at the core of our being and it is patiently waiting to be awakened. For some reason, somewhere along the way many of us began to see Self love as an act of selfishness, or a lack of priority. Self love is easily buried beneath the heavy circumstances of life’s challenges, it is put on hold as we tend to our more practical needs or the needs of others, and it is often neglected as we attempt to manage to the self-limiting and critical conditioning of the mind.
I can relate to all of these pitfalls, particularly the need to put others first and particularly thoughts that Self-love is selfish and greedy. Honestly, Self-love was something I advocated for others to do on a regular basis, but never really applied it to myself. At the beginning of this New Year I was in class with my teacher, Mary Bruce, and she asked us to establish an intention for the year. Completely surprised, the first thing that came to heart was, Love Yourself. I actually tried to push it away, “no, that can’t be it, that is sooo not me….” I called upon my intention to be something else, a better mom, clarity, healing, academia, the heart kept saying, “NO, NO, NO, I told you, Self Love.” Though met with an uncomfortable resistance, I accepted, and I knew the tension was a sign that I was moving beyond the edges of my comfort zone. I must practice what I preach. I must practice what my children teach.
How do I practice self-love? My thoughts are kinder and more life affirming. I am learning not to feed fear and doubt. I silence the inner critic with humor and presence (the critic usually comes from attachment to past). I give myself permission to make mistakes and learn from them. I trust in my intuition and worry less about what others think of me or expect from me. I let myself indulge in the simple sweetness of life, like regular trips to the bookstore, fine dining alone, long salt baths, dark chocolates and freshly picked wildflowers. I honor my full body as a divine feminine temple. I have established a charming courtship with myself, improving and healing this most important relationship. These practices help me reconnect, and I am remembering what my children know as common truth in their young wisdom.
I have since found that this practice is a demonstration of unconditional acceptance and Self-compassion. It is helping me to be calmly empowered from within. It is allowing me to be perfectly imperfect, authentic and committed my to unique truths and expressions. It is stretching my heart and soul and widening the reservoir for loving others. It is a healing balm placed on old wounds. It is an act of faith and gratitude because it is a recognition that the great and divine mystery created me, a kind all of my own, and because I am the only Robin Afinowich, ever, I am worth living and loving.
You too, are on the verge of extinction, so but the critic away and practice love and kindness, from the inside out.
Blessing,
Robin Afinowich
