I make an effort to not pay too much attention to the numbers; 108, 111, 118, 120…. It’s all just dam hot. In Arizona, it is easy to be discouraged with the summer; the unforgiving heat manages to drain motivation and oppress the excitement that summer is supposed to bring. I often wish my kids had the grace of Montana summers when everything seemed so simple; creek side play, walks to ice cream shop, sling-shots, building bikes, spending the day outside, coming home when the sun goes down. I dream of summers where I am not hiding from the intense sun under two layers of clothes, instead wrapped in a faded flannel just thin enough to hold the chill of early morning mountain air while gentle, grey-sky showers dampen my hair. The hunger of nostalgia and another way of life could take me into a wallowing well, but instead, I am drawing form the forces of Litha, the summer solstice, and tapping into the creative flow that leads me to my power; the power to transform, to create and build the life I desire, and to trust in the fierce magic that casts itself from the sun; a fiery display of passion, play, and productivity.
This Solstice is particularly rich with meaning as its forces are joining with those of a full moon. A rare, once in a lifetime experience, both the sun and the moon will be at their brightest in the same day. A polarizing intensity that reminds us of the dynamic potential within nature, a metaphor for the dynamic potential within each of our own human compositions. Can we accept and apply the laws of natural order and contemplate, if even just for a moment, being the brightest we can possibly be? I think we can. I think we need not doubt our own power!
I’ll admit, at times it is difficult for me to live from my place of power, I can get too caught up in fear, in depression, the busyness of everyday life, or giving my power away. When I am feeling far away from myself, I seek council in the wisdom of the voiceless. Despite the paralyzing grip of hidden heat mirages, the Sonoran desert does not disappoint in her magnificent display of resilience and diversity of life that was created to not only withstand the heat but thrive in it. I adore my solitude and sacred time with the rising and setting sun and it is in these hours that I witness the most movement from the natural world; it is in these hours that I align most with the powers within. I adhere to shamanic values and in doing so, we are one with nature, if we can see power in nature, we must be willing to see it within ourselves.
A few days prior to the Solstice I asked to be given signs, symbols for understanding what is it I am to focus on my journey in this new season and what it is am to share. As always, these voiceless symbols seem to surface from the spiritual realms beneath the subconscious and beyond the known and inform my eyes to pay more close attention the natural teachers tucked away in the hidden pockets of space so easily overlooked.
Day one: A web, perfectly and majestically woven by a spider yellow as the mid-day sun. I watched her circle and spin, and cast long draws of wet fiber as she worked herself perfectly into the center of her powerful nexus. She spun the web in the S.W. corner of my wheel, and there she claimed her role as Teacher. The spider is an ancient feminine symbol for mystery, creation, power and protection. The web represents the interconnectedness of all things as well as home, community, sense of place. The spider weaving her web, is reminding me to be aware of the life I am creating, aware of my choices, my relations to my family and community. She is reminding to me to protect that which is sacred, that which is lost. She is reminding me to keep working hard, to believe in the reciprocity and security of the web of life. She is reminding me to believe in myself.
How are your choices affecting your life?
How are your choices affecting your relationships?
What is keeping you stuck? What inspires you to keep going?
Do you need more community, support or tolerance?
Are you willing to believe in your self and build a new web?
Day two: Butterfly. I had just gotten in the car and for some odd reason, was compelled to drive down the ally. I saw what appeared to be leaves shuffling in the dirt, I looked closer and it was a struggling little butterfly, desperate for relief. I scooped it up, gently blew on it and spit in my hand incase it was thirsty. For a moment it seemed revived and full of life, then it danced it’s last flutter until its light went out. Brittle wings and breathless I held its fragile body as its soul energy dispelled back into the ethers. Transcendence, transformation, and impermanence are her messages for the approaching Solstice.
Are you, or your relationships, moving toward growth or away from it?
Are you willing to step into a new phase (complimentary of building a new web)?
Can you accept impermanence from a place of freedom vs. fear?
Day three: A raging fever (the body speaks for nature too). Every now and again I get intense bouts of fevers and lethargy that annihilate me and rudely interrupt the steadiness of my life. Just this week at oncology I was told I do too much, that my body isn’t as tough as it once was. I am stubborn, so of course I challenged that, and a day later I was bed ridden and out of commission. For days, my body purged, released, reset. It wasn’t punishment; it was a reminder that I don’t have to be busy to be important, to let go of silly expectations. It allowed me to find humility in my actions and gave me permission to slow down and stop proving myself to myself; I am my worst critic. This time of year correlates with masculine energy, but under this full moon it is essential to also integrate the feminine as with her flow comes the voice of intuition where our actions are aligned with a sense of authentic purpose not egoic approval. True power does not come from ego.
Is the ego overly secure or insecurely driving ship? We can be productive without unrealistic expectations?
Are you willing to let go of limiting beliefs or behaviors?
Are you willing to trust your self, your intuition and create from a genuine sense of worth and purpose?
Challenge the ego, it is usually operating from a place of insecurity and conditioning.
As you can see, there are messages all around us, all of the time. When you ask, they will appear and how they translate to meaning in your life is your unique process of creation, your embodiment of the powers of the sun and moon, the spiders, butterfly’s and adapting cells. Though the sun is powerful, it takes many seasons to ripen a grape for the perfection of fine wine (particularly self-aware grapes). Keep creating and building even if you don’t see the fruits immediately, trust they will come. Remember, Power is also the mystery of the unseen. This solstice we create from both action and from faith, transformation and transcendence. It is a most auspicious time, indeed. I invite you to passionately, purposefully spin your web, to find possibility in the freedom of this next phase, and to clear out the thoughts, beliefs and actions that withhold your natural power. Be like the Solstice sun, bright and bold, magnificent and full of purpose. Be like the tender full moon, rich with intention, healing and wisdom. May you marvel in nature’s wonders and soak in the power and awe as if it were your own divine reflection.
Aho, blessings, Namaste,
Robin Afinowich
