“New year, new you” is a constant stream of propaganda weaving its way through January, one that trickles off to a drip, drip puddle by end of February. New me??? I am still getting to know the ‘me’ I set intentions for last year, or even 5 or 10 years ago. I’m still developing the courage to be the woman the little girl dreamed of. I am not ready for a new me, I am still loving the nowme and the oldme. Sure, I am building goals and intention for my life and the ‘me’ that will be revealed in my queen and crone years, but I think of it more as a self-realizing, self-honoring evolution, not a replacement but rather a purposeful refinement.
Refinement is the elegant process of polishing, honoring, purifying through small stages of precise attention to detail and a mindful inlay of gratitude for the process. It is the delicate craft of distilling, filtering, revising. It is a dedicated art of working with same gem.
I realize ‘New Me’ is a catchy marketing standard, but it can certainly set deep psychological undertones (as mainstream, consumer culture often does) that we need to be better, more, different, something else. We have become a throw-away culture that doesn’t have the patience to tend to older process or fix things that are broken or even just taking the time to give things a little attention and creative adaptation. Next to the ‘new is better’ hype, sits the ‘I want it now’ immediate gratification fix. Be aware of how these messages may affect your expectations of yourself, particularly in this time of establishing intentions.
We are fighting a culture that wants things newand now…including the new me. If we are always reaching for the next thing, we stay at the surface, we don’t drop into the full potential of embodied experience and meaningful, mature living, and we dilute nurturing connection to self and others.
What if seeds never soaked in the ground and simply got tossed around from here to there? An acorn would stay an acorn, it would be deprived of the beautiful, wise journey towards full maturation.
Purposeful refinement requires patience for the process. My Papa, Dr. Dan, always said patience was a virtue. Indeed, it is.
I like to develop my personal intentions the same way I sow seeds in my garden. I create a barren space, rich with potential. I get clear on what I might want to grow. I tend the seeds over many moons to the best of my capacity. I respect the time it takes them to grow and I bless the seeds, the land, and myself with patience and hope. I unconditional reverence I trust the intelligence of nature. She has been around longer than any of us and she has a lot to say about optimal growth. Mother nature kindly reminds me there is something bigger governing the process. Being that we are an extension of nature, her principles of creation in terms of intentional cultivation and harvest are really no differently applied to psyche or soul.
Nature is a powerful entry point, rich with metaphor, for understanding the soul. Nature is the wisest expression of purposeful refinement.
This past week I finally decided to work on my weeds. I tend to let them grow well beyond the neighborhood standards. Some of the best medicine comes from weeds. As I was thinning my overgrown patches, I saw a hidden cluster of green bitters and bright marigolds under the canopy of towering thistle. Serendipitous timing as I kept thinking I needed to go to the store for arugula and bright flowers for dinner. Tucked away and auspiciously protected were my table-pretty flowers and fresh salad fixings, surfaced when least expected. Two years ago I planted those seeds. I watered them, fed them, loved them. They did not grow. A lesson that somethings come to fruition and some don’t….this is when nature, and psyche, learn to adapt and try again. Saddened, but unattached I focused on other seeds and areas of my yard which subsequently thrived. As it turns out, they were deeply submerged in the womb of the earth, taking their time to fully evolve into the gifts they recently provided.
A well-developed garden must nurture us for generations, not just one meal.
This time of year I encourage you to have patience for the process of growth, the refinement of self. In winter most climates are desolate, dry or barren…this does not mean that magic isn’t happening beneath the surface. The work is being done quietly in dark space of nature’s (the soul’s) deepest belly. In this pregnant womb creation whispers, grow, grow, grow.
It takes time and consistent effort to unveil your biggest self and create the life you desire. Honor the work you have done and keep refining the lessons. Try not to get diluted or distracted, focus on your biggest ambitions and hold yourself accountable for many, many seasons.
Let the seeds soak in.
