Hello!
I have missed you! I have been on a bit of a hiatus due to my slightly clumsy and overwhelmed, yet highly motivated and inspired balancing act of life. In addition to private practice and yoga, I have taken on quite a bit of career growth opportunities with ASU and now also proudly working for Care 7 crisis response as the City of Tempe’s Trauma Trainer. I was there in the past as a victim advocate and I’m thrilled to be back. Hard work and vision really do pay off.
As I am sure you can relate, these times are bizarrely epic, deeply disturbing and concerning, and a minefield of conscious practice as we learn to navigate this intense point of human history. I have experienced unforgiving waves of grief, depression, anger, fear, apathy, and also more forgiving waves of hope, strength, acceptance, and compassionate action.
As of late, what have I been doing to dance with this dynamic, emotional tornado of parenting, personal practice, bread-winning, and social conundrum? In addition to some of the coping methods discussed in prior BLOGS and my obvious love of yoga and nature, here are some additional sanity strategies I am working:
PASSION AND PURPOSE:
Taking on more was intentional and provided to be very healing. I find that giving back to my community and being an active agent in social change brings a sense of purpose and fulfillment that strengthens my will to keep persevering. I feel very blessed to love what I do for work. In fact, it doesn’t feel like work because it is driven by passion. Everything from sustainability to mental health inspires my purpose.
Helping helps the soul. There is so much need and it will enliven you. What are your passions and how can they bring a sense of purpose and meaning to your life?
LESS JUDGMENT AND ASSUMPTIONS:
These are huge energy leaks (to judge or feel judged). We often assume people are judging us when they aren’t and we worry and feed our conditioned insecurity. Sometimes it can be helpful to care less about what others think. We often judge people based on assumptions we have of them. This is often a complicated mix of our beliefs and lack of awareness and well as the brain’s innate design to categorize and compartmentalize to try to make sense of things. This means we don’t know all the facts; we haven’t considered their context, perspective, or process and we haven’t taken the time to get this insight so our conditioned ideologies and categorical brain make an assumption. With new information and reference, we can challenge these assumptions and create a new category of what is actually true. Sometimes we judge people because we are really projecting our own issues on them. This is pretty normal, and projection isn’t usually done with the intent to harm but it’s important to be aware. Less judgment and assumption are one of the most important equitable practices we are learning.
A WILLINGNESS TO LEARN AND LISTEN:
In a world where opinions and judgments are running wild and misinformation is a virus of its own, willingness to learn is essential. As a mental health professional and academic who upholds neutrality as an ethical practice, and as a deeply devoted practitioner of Buddhist and Yogic philosophy, the current global status is challenging and developing, my ability to gather data in an unbiased way to make sense of humanity.
I am open to compassionately learning from those fellow humans that I do not understand or ‘agree’ with. I am open to reading content that might not align with my own beliefs. Often times this has been family, friends, or colleagues and despite the discomfort of the conversation, it is a humanistic and evolved dialogue that is crucial. I am pleasantly surprised by how kind, civil, and accepting these conversations have been. I am also not surprised at the ones that haven’t ended well, this is a hard practice and it is fueled by pain for many. I find if it is growth-oriented and learning-curious it is more diplomatic and easier to accept differences This does not mean complacency or swiping under the rug, it means progress towards a healthier Middle Way. Remember, when we create new sections in the brain for new understanding we become less judgemental based on accurate information vs. inaccurate assumptions.
GET ON A SCHEDULE:
The brain feels safe and steady when we have a predictable schedule. We all need a sense of safety and certainty. It is realllllllly easy to wander around through the day aimlessly. Not just a work schedule but a self-care, family time, sleep, meals, and playtime routine. It’s ok to have a spontaneous splurge but for the day-to-day, and particularly if you are feeling down, get on a routine and you will feel better.
EXPLORING HISTORY AND HUMANITIES:My youngest son is in a high school huminites class and I have been thoroughly enjoying the rediscovery of classic arts, architecture, music composition, and literature. He’s actually interested in hearing my stories about seeing the enormous foot of Michelangelo’s David and the 6-foot Roman letters in St. Peter’s Basilica, the stories of the Louvre and Coliseum.
I have peeled myself from the heavy contemporary reading I was consumed by and found reprieve, hope, and inspiration in learning from the Great Masters who captured human culture throughout the ages. I have, at times, also found myself bravely exploring some tragic points of history (like a brilliant and informative Harvard series on the Black Plague) and have been able to tap, with great admiration, the fortitude, and resiliency of humans and culture.
I crave the day when live music, theater, art shows, and performance returns. I can’t wait to check off my bucket list the Opera in The Chicago (and I can’t wait to dress for the event). I trust all you musicians and artists are going to find new birth in your creations and I will welcome with my whole being the new area of expression capturing these uncertain times. I miss you so much, hand in there…even if it feels like a barrel of monkeys. I trust the rest of us will flock in crowds of wonderment to support the very core of what brings humans together.
LESS TIME ON SOCIAL MEDIA:
I have found significant relief and peace by disengaging more from social media. The polarized banter, denial, rudeness, rainbows, and unicorn’s dichotomy matched with political and social propaganda is just too much. Not to mention it is, by nature, designed to manipulate the mind and emotions and trigger a dependency on the constant scroll, click, swipe, like. It’s changing our brains and disconnecting us from reality (science proves this). Don’t hear me wrong, I love connecting to my inspiring friends, teachers, earth and travel lovers, and the local community. This is the glorious gift of social media. Just be cautious about the quality of content and maybe sometimes take a break when it gets to be too much. Notice the effect it has on you. Do you feel better or worse when on social media? Like anything, use it responsibly, in moderation, and with honest intention.
LAUGHTER:
I try to get lost in laughter and naps as often as I can. I read joyful, happy books and cartoons, and watch witty and cynical or goofy shows. Lately, I am a huge fan of stand-up and old Saturday Night Live….and always Lucy Ball. Laughter releases serotonin and serotonin makes us happy. Though the world is heavy, we have permission to laugh out loud and be silly. Here is a throwback mom moment to induce a giggle:
NAPS:
Naps are magic. Our brains, bodies, and souls don’t know how to process everything going on. We are experiencing deep un-rest, so we must rest extra. Even a little 20-minute power nap will create a helpful reboot.
