I once had a student admit their surprise when they saw me using props in class. “You can go so much deeper without the blocks and get the ‘full’ pose, why are you using it?” I told her this was the full pose for me. Though it didn’t look ‘perfect’ according to the book, I felt alive in it. I felt depth in it. I breathed, expanded, contracted and had a true connection to form and energy. Yoga is not about aesthetics, it is about alignment and sensation; physical, emotional, energetic, and consciousness. Every BODY aligns differently and under different circumstances every day. The practice becomes our willingness to arrive to what IS.
My oldest son once asked, “Mamma, why is it always called a practice, aren’t you ever going to get it perfect?” My humble response, “honey, I don’t ever want it perfect.” “But why, mamma?” I see my practice, of both asana (physical poses) and mindfulness, as one that is intended to bring evolution, transformation, and liberation. If it were perfect I would assume there is nothing else to reveal, and the mystery would vanish. I would become bored. If it were perfect, perhaps I’d have come to the end of a journey, but it is the journey where I find my curiosity, devotion and presence. Yoga and mindfulness are not an attempt to attain something else beyond myself, but rather an internal exploration leading me to a better understanding of my true nature. This true nature is ultimately the inherent part of Self that is perfect whole and complete. In my practice I challenge the edges of comfort and invite expansion into new territory, wether it is a new pose or wether it is is a deeper recognition of my samskaras (thought habits, triggers, reactions, attachments). It takes me to edge and inspires me to look beyond into the unknown and trust that there is space, possibility and experience waiting for me. My practice is a quality of living that grounds me in this time and space, with this thought, expression, breath and body. To practice is to embody the fruits of my steady awakening. As I see it, if it were perfect, I would have no room to grow. My son concluded our discussion, “Mamma, lets practice growing together forever, like hungry trees reaching to the sun.”
