Dear, Old Story
Just Do It!
With Fierce love, Kali Durga
I think Nike was onto something with their catchy tagline, Just Do it. This has become a kind of mantra for me these days. And although I’m not necessarily running any faster or joining the WNBA, I definitely feel like I am jumping much higher and with more aliveness and an inspiration that is catapulting me into the kind of life I want to live. I have found the power of action and it is sourced from a fierceness and dedication from within me that is not subject to the rules of my belittling ego.
It is really easy to sit around thinking and talking about all the things we want to change in our life and all of the things we hope to do, and how we want to live…someday. It is really easy to watch our life pass by with a culmination of statements such as “I’ll just wait”, “I’m not ready”, “It won’t work”, “Not now”, “I can’t do it”, “I don’t have the time.” Our lives become a string of habitual excuses, emotions and self doubt that can prevent us from living with connection to our inherent Self and our ultimate dharma/purpose and happiness. These repetitive statements and emotions are usually a result of old, often false, and conditioned patterns piling up over the course of our lives. Statements that an un-awakened mind chooses to believe and yet statements that heart knows are the work of our internal demons and shadows.
I know about this because I had lived it for fare too long, believing in the egos’ attempt of trickery and self sabotage, feeding the negative feelings that are Self-defeating yet somehow comfortable in their oppressive familiarity. Then there came a day, actually a moment, when I all of a sudden I grew intolerant of this nonsensical dialogue. I grew nauseous with the idea of having to wait for fruits of my personal work to be revealed. I asked myself, what am I waiting for? Permission? An Invitation to live my life the way I keep envisioning it? Each moment, each breath is an invitation. The call of my soul is an invitation.
I decided to stop thinking and get busy taking action. Just do it, Robin…just do all of it and if you mess up, FACNTASTIC, learn from it, move on, just like you always have. Use the experience, good or bad to enhance your time on this earth and to get you closer to trusting the possibility and potential of life. It is about taking action, the right action at the right time, inspired from the heart (Gyatri Mantra).
At first it was a hard practice to be willing to try new things, to think in new ways and to feel the freedom from shifting my energy body to a kind force that sustains me rather than drains me. It was hard to move into a state of total trust letting the grip of doubt fade with its false convictions. Then, it became easy, it became faith and it was then it became real.
When doubt, unnecessary statements and energy feelings of the old story surfaced and begin to taint the clarity I would simply ask, “Is this feeling or thought, real, is it 100% true in this moment?” The answer was always, NO. I would also ask, “Does this feeling bring me closer to my true Self, closer to my Source?” The answer was always, NO. I would ask, “Does this make me feel good and powerful and full of life?” The answer was always, NO. So I started feeling and thinking in ways that shouted to rooftop of the universe, YES!!!!
In my attempts to reclaim my life I have been harnessing the great feminine power (Shakti) of Kali. Kali is considered the goddess of time and change. She is associated with the destruction of evil and is the destroyer of the ego for she sees beyond maya, false consciousness, and can remove all obstacles and limitations in the way of self-realization. Kali was born from Goddess Durga during a ferocious battle against evil demons and is considered perhaps the fiercest of the deities. Lord Shiva is her husband and he cannot exist without her. Kali reminds me that it is false illusion that keeps me from taking action. She reminds me of my own inherent power that can transcend my ego and change my life in this time. I stand before her with loyalty and humility and raise my sword to the old stories that hold me back. I join in her courage to ruthlessly fight for liberation and together our battle cry is “fear not, just do it”!
Namaste,
Robin Afinowich
