Trauma is the interruption of life as we know it.
I’d say we are all experiencing, whether admittedly or not, some deep shock, grief, fear, anger and serious interruption of life as we know it. Anticipatory angst is a daily internal battle we are facing with the weight of uncertainty in how to manage health care, economic depression, social justice, political propaganda and a sense of personal purpose in the world. For many of us our hierarchy of needs (work, food, shelter, sense of safety/equality in the community) is compromised promoting threat on the basic human level.
We are separated from friends and family, community and resources. Our nervous systems and spirits are confused by the isolation. Holistically and optimally speaking, we require human interaction, implicit and explicit communication, touch, reinforcement, recognition and confirmation of a sense of belonging, a sense of identity and place. This is difficult to covey through a 9X12 computer screen. But it IS possible, and we are learning how to adapt, and we are evolving our individual and collective resilience.
Resilience is defined as the capacity (learned and innate) to recover from difficulties.
I have spent a good amount of my life not only understanding the psycho-social-physiological-spiritual implications of trauma, but the terms of resiliency, healing and growth. Here are some of the most evidence-based aspects of resiliency that we can all practice during these complicated times.
Optimism:
As difficult as this is (I get it, I can get very dark in my interpretation of the world….not to mention I often get consumed with intense waves of major depressive disorder), optimism is an important cognition to develop, particularly under stress. It DOES not mean to idealistically or spiritually bypass what is going on (there is so much bypassing these days and it is a toxic denial of reality, it is avoiding accountability and denying the truth of the human experience). Optimism prevents getting stuck in helplessness or hopelessness (I think I was stuck for weeks). Cognitively speaking, optimism is being mindful of one’s thoughts and actions about situations and the ability to actively mitigate the appraisal of threat (but not denying the reality) so that one is not consumed or paralyzed by fear. Optimism can provide stamina to endure. It means that we strive to believe in solution and progress.
Cognitive Flexibility:
This means the ability to reappraise one’s perception and experience or a traumatic situation instead of being rigid in one’s perception (we see how closed minds are only fueling the problems). Cognitive flexibility is the willingness to challenge our old beliefs, to gather new information from current resources and be willing to “flex” our preconceived notions or expand and develop old concepts with more tolerance, compassion and forward thinking. Learning new things and evolving perception has been proven to stimulate areas of the brain that reduce traumatic symptoms (study anything….language, history, art, music, science…just be willing to stretch your brain muscle.) Cognitive flexibility allows us to understand, accept, adapt and recover. It is a willingness to let go of what was and move consciously into was is (sound familiar, Yogis and Buddhists?) Acceptance and assimilation of a traumatic experience helps us to recognize that traumatic experiences can bring change and growth (something that has been needed for quite some time).
Social Support Network:
Socialization is clearly an issue of debate in these pandemic times (and a very strong conversation amongst parents). However, if we can ‘flex” our traditional ways of socializing and accept what is most needed in these times we will stimulate resiliency by finding new ways of connecting. Trust me, I am not a technological person and I miss the order of life where I could hug my friends and eat out and watch live music. Like many of you, I grieve the life we had, but I am also learning to deal with the reality. Find creative ways of connecting to your loved ones. Zoom, phone, letters, care packages. Find creative ways of being involved with your community. Volunteer online or in person or donate. Learn about organizations and what is available in your community that enhances or compliments your moral ethics. Sense of identity and emotional strength is born from close relationships with people (and our animal families) and communities.
Physical Activity:
If we want to prevent our minds from being stagnant, we must keep moving our bodies. If we want to regulate our emotions and fear response, we must keep soothing our fight-flight-freeze response. A good combination of what I like to call “discharge and recharge” is needed to balance our nervous systems. We need to move tension, anger, and stress in bigger, discharging ways such as running, hiking, swimming, boxing, biking (anything that is more cardiovascular). We need to also recharge by soothing the system through more restorative activities like mindful walking, yoga, meditation, Qi Gong, or even physical touch like massage or energy work. It is very difficult in the Arizona triple digits to find motivation to move, but it is a non-negotiable for resiliency. (look for upcoming workshop)
Embracing moral compass, spirituality or religion:
Existential contemplation is a fundamental curiosity that most people explore as a child (Where do we come from? Where do we go when we die? How can the stars be infinite? Who made the ocean and sky blue?) What is fair or right?) The same curiosity and wonder is equally valuable in redefining bigger meaning in traumatic times and in our adult brains. How we define and experience life with more transpersonal meaning can provide a sense trust, hope, compassion and tolerance for the diversity and complexity of the human experience. It can remind us that even through adversity there is something larger and more universal working on our behalf. When all that we know is interrupted or challenged, there is an opportunity to reevaluate the terms to which live our life and express our most evolved self. The pandemic pause is, in many ways, is affording the space to determine what is most important. We are approaching our families, health, relationships, the environment and communities with more presence, more meaning and more a willingness to build a better Earth with more equitable and meaningful living.
These are only 5 of many components to building reliance.
TLC, Take it, Leave it, Change it.
Next week I will have some more basic skills and tips for creating reliance.
If there is one thing I see alllllll the time in my work, it is humans learning to not only overcome adversity but thrive from it (reread Post Traumatic Growth).
We can do this.
The practice begins now!
Blessings, Namaste, Aho
Robin Afinowich
